The Fear of Hopeful Hope

Jen O'Sullivan with Renee Strauss

A very blond version of me at a white party I hosted to self-promote. With celebrity Renee Strauss of hit TLC show “Brides of Beverly Hills.”

Life was never promised to be easy for us as Christians or anyone for that matter. In fact, life will be hard. Sometimes really hard. Here in the United States, especially in Southern California, and even more so in South Orange County life is easy. The complaints I hear most are things like, “I have too much going on, my schedule is so overwhelmed that I can never find any time to do anything for myself.” “I’m so tired all the time and have no patience for my kids. All I do is yell at them constantly.” These comments are from us stay-at-home-moms who realistically should have considerably the best life on the planet. People are worn out wherever they live and whatever circumstances they live under. The big difference I find is in hope. Christians have a sure and firm hope. Even though things are bad here and we go through trials we still have assurance. People who have a hopeful hope are the ones I fear for the most.

When I look back at my pre-salvific life, I see a life full of abundance and things going my way. Even though when I was living those moments I thought things were hard and I had to work really really hard to get ahead but ahead I always got and my life was filled with things of this world that were dazzling both in relationships and objects. Now, post-salvation, my life is way harder than I would have ever thought possible. Things no longer “come easy” and trials and tests seem to be around every corner. God is sharpening, pruning, and disciplining me week after week. It is a brutal but necessary part of being a child of God.

Sharpening hurts. There is heat and sparks that fly but in the end I am becoming more and more sharp in my walk with God. The searing pain of learning how to speak with more mercy and grace. I am sharpened. The pride-crushing agony of learning to submit to my authorities and leaders. I am sharpened. The singe of realizing the amount of work it is to be an ambassador and not wanting to give up. I am sharpened.

Pruning is painful. Clip clip clip goes this and that in my life. Things I did not even consider a barrier to loving God is now a full blown assault on my walk. The daily barrage on my spirit with the conflict of TV. I am pruned. The struggle in giving up certain foods that God revealed to me are emotionally damaging fire-hoses. I am pruned. The true sadness in loosing friends and a career over following Jesus. I am pruned.

Discipline is hard. When a child that is not my own does something wrong I don’t discipline him. If my own child does something wrong I am all over him. Discipline is for his own good. I want him to succeed so in my love for him I must discipline him. The same is true for you and God if you are his child. The immature idea that it is ok to not claim cash on your taxes because everyone else does it and getting audited the first year of becoming a Christian. I am disciplined. The fit throwing tantrums that lead to stubbornly not studying the Bible and watching TV instead, our jealous God slammed me to the ground and hit me with the flu keeping me from going to multiple social gatherings I was so looking forward to. I am disciplined. The arrogant, self-serving, do-it-on-my-own mentality that used to serve me so well in my previous life now gets me a firm slap of humility when I stumble and trip in areas I used to glide through with ease. I am disciplined.

These pains and struggles, tests and trials are real and palpable. When God chooses you and you respond rightly by giving your life to Him, your life here on this earth will not get easier, nor will it stay the same. You are going to encounter troubles and pain and heartache like you never thought possible. But, the silver lining is that it is ALL for the glory of God, and as a true Christian you will deeply desire the glory of God. You are guaranteed through the sealing of the Holy Spirit an inheritance that you can’t even imaging. The angels in Heaven must look at us all the time shaking their heads and saying to each other “if they only knew the half of it.”

My hearts desire is for you to take a good hard look at your life. I came to Christ in true repentance and faith 25 years after I fully thought I was already saved! Believe me, it can happen, and looking back I know for sure, without a doubt, that I was not saved back then, but I definitely thought I was. Think about your life for a bit longer than a moment. Has it been hard and full of lessons and trials and tests and yes discipline from God or has it been a relatively easy life where things tend to go your way? Read 1 John. All of it. If you feel convicted in any way at all, start praying. Pray as much as you can for God to reveal himself to you. Question everything. Work out your salvation with intense effort. Think of a few friends that you have always respected their Christianity. Reach out to them. Ask them to meet with you and talk through your life. If you can’t think of anyone, please reach out to me. I would love to help you work out your salvation. Let’s audit yourself and know for sure. Find a sure and firm hope in your salvation. It is the most important thing you will ever tackle in your life.

Text me if you want to talk or I’d be happy to take you through a one-on-one discipleship program so we can work out your salvation now. 949-282-9745

 

Reposted with permission from:
LinkedCyclingWomen.com

Humility

What does it look like to be humble? All I know is I am the opposite of humility. I grew up with a mom who was a product of the Women’s Liberation Movement and a divorce which forced her to rely on only herself and teach her two girls the same. So, I in turn am my mother’s daughter and every word that describes what it means to be humble and have humility is not me. Meek, lowly, selfless, forgiving, merciful, gracious, un-entitled, a servant. Yet here I sit a servant to Christ. I am asked over and over again to be holy. I am asked over and over again to let go of my pride. I am asked over and over again to put on Christ.

I struggle with this every day. I see my child who is 6 resolve to give up his iPad for the next day at bedtime only to justify his need to be on it the very moment he wakes up. I think “wow, I am so like him with my issues and resolves to God.” Weak. So very weak. Humility is my goal. Even though it is foreign to me now, I will make every effort to study it in the life of Christ. I will make every effort to apply my studies to my own life. I will make every effort to do all of this by the strength of the Holy Spirit in prayer and supplication for humility. I am resolved to put on humility.

I can’t feel my toes and my head is spinning

I sit here in full astonishment wondering how I managed to let this happen again. Candy Coma. Full, complete, debilitating candy coma. It’s a few days after Halloween and each day I have tried a different tactic to help control my total lack of self control over Halloween chocolate. Day 1, Halloween Day: Buy all the bags of chocolate that I love and promise that I won’t eat any. Proceed to the car, place bags in car, and promptly pull out a piece. Just one. By the time I make it home (5 minutes later) I have eaten 4 more. By the time my son gets home from school (30 minutes later) there are only 7 left in the first large bag of peanut butter cups. This is not an exaggeration but the actual truth. I tell myself, just today. Tomorrow I will go on a juice fast. Day 2: Full just fast starting at 8am. Break Juice Fast at 9:30am. Don’t all those phytonutrients counteract peanut butter cups? Ok, so I’ll skip lunch. Day 3: Getting tons of work done on my iPad with my son’s rapidly declining bag of candy within arms length. My plan of action: eat it all because the quickest way to rid yourself of food that is bad for you is to eat it, right? or does the saying go “throw it down the garbage disposal”? …
anyhow, I can’t remember so I’m going for the former.

So, I have candy coma. I don’t think I can feel my toes at the moment and my head is spinning and I’ve totally done this to myself. So, what does this have to do with God? I am going to pay for my massive candy ingestion with a week full of addictive cravings to chocolate and migraine headaches that I will have to manage with small doses of caffeine. Why is this a problem? Why is anything we eat a problem? For me, if it causes me to have a lack of motivation, lack of focus, and lack of confidence, then that all translates into me being a tool God won’t use. He has a benched player that has sidelined herself. I am an ambassador that is unable to do her job. What we eat plays such an important role in our attitude and energy level that I wonder why we no longer take seriously the act of fasting. Fasting helps us to focus on God and not our bodily needs. It reminds us that when we feel the pangs of hunger that God is in control and we are not. It helps our mind to tell our body that God is more important. However from a nutritional standpoint, fasting is also a way of cleaning out our physical vessel. It is self-discipline in an effort to correct sin behavior. Take a moment to look at your own food portfolio and consider cleaning out both your pantry and your body of the things that take you out of the game and away from the goals of Christ.

Arrogant Selfish and Rude

We are studying the book of Judges in our Women’s Bible Study at Compass Bible Church. I have always considered the Israelites to be so block-headed. I mean, were they really that stupid? It hit me this morning as I sat there on my high horse looking figuratively down on people who lived over 3,000 years ago that I am them. I struggle with the same things over and over and over again. OK let’s be real here, by “things” I mean sin. So, I decided to give myself a challenge based on a question in the study. The question asked me to read Luke 6:12-16 where it describes Jesus praying prior to him selecting his group of highly esteemed men to follow him, be his disciples, and ultimately represent him when he left. Did I say highly esteemed? We highly esteem them today, but at the time these men were a bunch of rag-tag misfits. They could not have been any more lame. They were dumb, arrogant, hot-headed, selfish, liars, swindlers, and thieves whom Jesus choose to glorify him! These men were radically changed. I couldn’t possibly be that bad… or could I? So, here is my challenge (and I encourage you to take the challenge too.)

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1. Write down every weakness you can think of about yourself. Everything you think, everything you would say your spouse would say, everything you think your friends would say, and everything you think your siblings and yes, even your mom and dad would say is your weakness. Lay it all out there.
2. Do a word study Galatians 5:22 and 1 Corinthians 13:4-5. Write down all the words that you know should characterize you and your life. Highlight or mark the words or phrases that you think you need work on. Choose as many as apply.
3. Go back to your main list of weaknesses and write the word that would be the best opposite from your word study in 1 Corinthians and Galatians.
4. Add up which words got the most play and write a few sentences describing what you need from God. (See my example in the photo.)
5. Take some time today to pray thoughtfully about what you learned. Possibly even ask God to radically make some changes in your life so you do not keep the sin cycle up in those areas of your life. Allow God to work and SHINE through your weaknesses. Don’t hide them, use them to the glory of God!

STOP IT

You are love and I am not. I adore You for this. I praise You for your complete and utter ability to love and be fully love. I am sadly no where close, yet I know You want me to share this attribute in You. I feel like I get it some days and then am slammed with the realization that my love that I think is selfless is actually dipped in selfish ambition and vain conceit. It is horrifying really. I long for the day that I am able to truly, selflessly, love like You do. I know I never will to the extent of who You are but knowing that I must work toward this in a highly physically pressing world is something I need to get past and beyond moment by moment. I tell my mind, STOP IT, be loving. STOP IT, be humble. STOP IT, be kind. STOP IT, be patient. But then the tears well up again and some sort of unloving thought comes into my mind. Anger, Envy, Selfishness, Entitlement, Disappointment, a whole host of feelings contrary to LOVE. You are love. You are perfect in love in every way. Help me to be more like You today. Give me grace and mercy to honor your desire for me to be more and more like You. Forgive me for always asking for forgiveness over the same things. Forgive me again and help me to grow closer and sanctified in this area over and over and over and over again until I am home with You!

Absolutley Stunned

DBR Daily Bible Reading with Compass Bible ChurchHow can you obey God’s voice if you are not listening to Him? How can you hear Him? Should you be hearing Him audibly? No. Should you base all your decisions on how the spirit is leading you even if it might be contrary to Scripture? No. Is it the “still small voice” you hear sometimes that you should be listening to? No. God speaks to us through the Scriptures. So, if you are not reading the Bible every day, and embarking on some sort of daily Bible study (ie. TAN method, WBS, or some other form of study) how are you going to know what God wants you to obey? Our pastor, Pastor Mike Fabarez of Compass Bible Church very seldom doles out definitive directives from the pulpit where he uses his authority to ask firmly that his congregants do something specific. Now remember, if you have placed yourself under someones authority such as your husband, boss, and yes, your church, and that authority asks you to do something (that is not outside moral law) then you need to do it. They will be judged by God on how well they led, and you will be judged on how well you submitted to the authority you are placed under. Yes, man is fallible, but it is your responsibility to do as they ask even if you don’t fully agree with it, again, only if it is not outside God’s moral laws.

Understanding this, our pastor has asked us to read the DBR (Daily Bible Reading). He has specific reasons for this and it is important that you do as he asks. He desires first of all that all of the people at our church are in the Bible every day. Second, though, he is not asking that you haphazardly read whatever you wish. He wants you to read the WHOLE Bible every year so you can get the “Big Picture.” And third, he wants his congregation to actively read together and he has asked that we all post a comment on the DBR even if it is as simple as “I read it and it was good.” I am absolutely stunned at how many people DO NOT do as our pastor asks. So, I am encouraging each one of you to read the DBR every day AND post a quick comment that simply says “I read it and it was good.”

Let’s also consider how we are submitting to the other areas of our life with respect to the authorities we are under. God will bless you that it may be well with you!

But this command I gave them: ‘Obey my voice, and I will be your God, and you shall be my people. And walk in all the way that I command you, that it may be well with you.’” ~ Jeremiah 7:23

Love Them with Salt

Are you the salt of the earth to others or just an irritation that your friends and family want to “wash off” as soon as possible? I fear too often I am the latter and I pray that the Holy Spirit would make me the former. Salt comes up several times in Scripture and is usually associated with three meanings: salt as seasoning, salt for cleansing, and salt as something that burns. (Examples Mark 9:49, Mark 9:50, Matthew 5:13, Ezekiel 16:4) What does this mean when we consider verse 6 in Colossians 4? We are to let our speech always be gracious. Yes, that makes sense. Seasoned with salt. Think about salt for a moment. We use it mainly to make things taste better. So we should choose our words wisely to make sure we are answering each person in an appropriate way that would “taste” good and leave them wanting to speak to you again. But we should also consider the other uses of salt. It is used to scrub and cleanse. That means sometimes our words should be graciously used to correct or lovingly reprove someone. And lastly we should consider that salt burns. It is said in Mark 9 “for everyone will be salted with fire.” Sometimes the things we say need to burn a bit. But again we need to be gracious in our speech even when we need to say something that may burn. On the flip side of that coin consider the next time you feel “salted” think about what God is trying to teach you. Be open to it. Be teachable. But above all be loving through all your answers.

Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. ~ Colossians 4:6

A Prayer of Forgiveness

Forgive me for sinning against your Spirit. Forgive me for always having such a lack of self-control. Help me and convict me, Holy Spirit to live in a manner worthy of you. Help me to walk by you and to put Jesus on, always. I am so sorry for making a spectacle of myself in what seems like every situation. Forgive me for always ALWAYS needing to say my thoughts. Forgive me for not being a good listener. Forgive me for having such a lack of patience. Forgive me for my pride. Please, Holy Spirit teach me to be patient like you. Teach me to be a great listener like you. Teach me to have self-control like you. Teach me to be modest like you. Teach me to be humble like you. Teach me to be holy like you. Teach me to bridle my tongue like you. Teach me to be of you and not of this world. You are who I need to walk by every second of every day. Please forgive my insatiable humanity that always wants its way, always wants things now, always needs to get the last word in, always bites at me moment by moment for attention. You are my strength. You are my hope. You are my deliverer. Thank you!

Jumping in God’s Lap?

I fear too many of us live our lives just above what we consider the status quo. We just barely keep our heads above water some days while other days we find ourselves doing nothing at all. We live in a world of an “all or nothing” mentality. This is not what God intended for us. He built us with eternity in our hearts. He built us to long after Him! I encourage you to take a moment today. Not for yourself, as the world would tell you to do, but for your Maker. Take a moment. Take a breath. Take a long breath and realized the gravity of the simple fact that you are even aloud to take that breath. Consider who God is and place him in his rightful place. Consider who you are and put yourself in your rightful place. As my pastor, Dr. Mike Fabarez likes to say, You are not God’s partner, He is not your co-pilot. Jesus is not something to “try” as the popular bumper sticker says “Try Jesus.” He is the Almighty Sovereign God above all the universe and when you meet him you won’t jump up in his lap or give him a bear hug. No, your face will be firmly planted on the floor in humble profound adoration to your Maker and your God. The moment you begin to shift your perceptive on who God is and humble yourself to a much higher view of God than you already have is the moment you will begin to worship God they way he deserves to be worshiped.

Unattainable Perfection

Perfection. What a word. We throw it around as if it can be attained. It cannot. Perfection is a word that should be reserved for one Person only: God. To call anything else perfect is a slight to the Creator. Nothing is perfect except for our Maker. Nothing even comes close. He is holy in his perfection; set apart from everyone and everything. What a gem it is, then, to be granted salvation! To be considered holy and perfect through the humbling power of His blood. I am now perfect in his sight. Amazing!

…he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. ~ Ephesians 1:4 ESV