My own spirit and the Spirit inside me want only You, but my flesh cries out in constant agony over its desires. Like a kicking and screaming toddler, my flesh wants its way. Holy Spirit, give me dedication and devotion like Daniel. Help me to find better discipline. Help me to love You better, love You more, love you fully, love you best!
Forgive me for my ignorant arrogance. Open my mind today just a tad more. Please reveal to me more of who you are. My place is at your feet. My place is in your service. My place is at your command. I am yours. Forgive me for always trying to crawl and sneak my way up to sit on your thrown. Forgive me for trying to pick up your sword. Forgive me for my flesh that wants so badly to be in charge all the time. Forgive my lack of understanding. Forgive my lack of diligence in the things that matter. Forgive my weak flesh that so fully desires to control everything about me. Take my life in full. Don’t let me nit pick pieces of it back. I can feel myself amassing tiny particles of myself that is starting to become a substantial pile of self rubble. It is a mess really but my flesh loves to covet these little piles of selfish trash. Clean it up, take it away from me. My spirit wants no part of it. Detoxify my soul. Please Lord, forgive my incessant picking. The crack starts out small and I want it patched right away. Holy Spirit I don’t want to grieve you. I am sorry for that. I am so sorry for my pride. I am so sorry for how weak I am at times. Help me to be strong and diligent. I want to win the race, not hobble over the finish line.
I must remember that you have granted me success. For certain, you have granted me future success when I am in your presence, but even now you have granted to me all things, not just some things, that pertain to life and godliness. You have given me that through your power. In you, it is for your glory. In you, I am for your glory. In you, is everything. Reveal to me the things I am lacking. There is so much! Reveal to me the things that I am forgetting. There is so much! Reveal to me the things of your plan. Wow, there is so much! Do I even have the right to know? OF COURSE NOT! But there it is. Your Word. With the brain in me that you are working and the Spirit you have placed in me, there it is. Your perfect plan! Over and over again I say thank you. Like a broken record that I don’t care is broken, thank you. I am broken, I am but dust, and I am yours. thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you…. on and on and on for eternity. The beautiful broken record that is my soul.
Forgive my incessant ability to get distracted. Distracted by my email. Distracted by social media. Distracted by my comfort. Distracted by my self promotion. Distracted by my ME. Give me respite from this world and all the distractions it has in it’s arsenal against me connecting with You. My connection to You and with You is for You and for me to help me release the distractions of this world. You are my respite. Give me You!
I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. (Psalm 32:5, ESV)
~ Jen O’Sullivan