I often struggle with disbelief. I love 2 Corinthians 3 because it reminds me to continually remind myself of the transformation Christ blessed upon me with his Spirit. The Holy Spirit is my proof. All I have to do is consider my heart, consider my life, and consider His work on and in me that can only come from the Holy Spirit. Then my disbelief is eradicated.
Category Archives: Jen O’Sullivan
Selfish Desire and Distraction ~ A Prayer
You know my issues.. way better than I do. Please show me what you need me to learn today. Forgive me for my distractedness. Forgive me for my ignorance. Open up my eyes to my sin. Show me my wretchedness. Show me my selfishness. Show me my inability to bend. Bend me and break me if you need to. Take my life and skillfully mold me to your will and your way. Direct my path because the path I tend to get on is one of selfish desire and distraction.
“Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” – Psalm 139:23-24
Perfecting the Art of Deception
I have always thought of Satan as pathetic. Sadly when I really think about who he is and what he is capable of, I fear too many of us give him way less credit than he should get for things of this world. We discount and dismiss anything that could even look like his handiwork when in reality if you really, really think about it, Satan has had thousands upon thousands of years to perfect the art of deception. Do you think that you, at your 20-80 years of age, understand all that he is capable of? Paul states his hope the the church at Corinth that they (and we) would not be outwitted by Satan. He wants us not to be ignorant of his designs however too many of us have stuffed him in a corner either out of fear or blatant self-imposed ignorance. We need to be smart Christians and consider what he is capable of. I often find myself in situations where I ask “Why is this happening to me?” I become selfish and self-absorbed. I ask God to take the situation away from me or to help me through it. When I flip it on it’s head and start thinking in the offensive it opens up an entirely different potential side to what is going on. Perhaps there is a person that I am supposed to help win for Christ and Satan’s design is to knock me down and out before I even have a chance to talk to that person. Or think about larger issues that affect masses of people. Like our food supply. Could it be that he contaminated it to make us all sluggish, obese, and sick so we would be way less effective in our ministries? Realistically when you start to consider how truly gifted Satan is in the simple yet profound art of deception is when you will truly start to become a better ambassador, steward, and warrior for Christ.
“so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs.” ~ 2 Corinthians 2:11
Patience with my Daftness ~ A Prayer
You have been more than patient with my daftness. You deserve my praise and adoration. You deserve my everything yet I sit here day after day dealing with silly worldly issues. NOTHING. These issues are nothing! Nothing compared to my commission. Nothing compared to my stewardship. I am an ambassador for you, Christ and here I sit not doing my job. Forgive me for getting caught up in this world and all the drama that comes with it. Father, today I will start again. Today I resolve to see this new day and simply start.
My Addiction
I can not even fathom what it was like for those living in pre-penticostal times. What faith and strength those men and women must have had. I feel so pathetic in comparison. The Holy Spirit is my crutch, my dependence, my addiction.
A Prayer of Forgiveness
Forgive my sin and show me my transgressions. Holy Spirit clean me out. Reveal to me my wrong. I am so sorry for grieving you. Please forgive my disrespect to you. Forgive me for placing you second at times. I long to place you first in everything but then find that my human nature puts myself first. Please, LORD, I give you the pedestal of my heart and my life. You are my center. You are my everything. Be my core today and every day. Fill me up with your prescience. I want to walk in your ways and not my own. Show me clearly your path that I may choose it without hesitation. ~ Amen
Confirm Your Calling and Election
Thank you God that I am yours. That I am part of your family. That you have called me. Thank you for granting me eternal life. Thank you for the riches and the knowledge of life and godliness that will some day be mine. To you be the glory and honor and power forever. To you be excellence and praise and anything worthy of righteousness. To you be everything and all that is good. To you be my soul and my life and my everything.
His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. ~ 2 Peter 1:3-4 ESV
Confession and Petition from Puritan Prayers
Confession and Petition ~ Puritan Prayers
Holy Lord, I have sinned times without number, and been guilty of pride and unbelief, of failure to find Thy mind in Thy Word, of neglect to seek Thee in my daily life. My transgressions and short-comings present me with a list of accusations, but I bless Thee that they will not stand against me, for all have been laid on Christ. Go on to subdue my corruptions, and grant me grace to live above them. Let not the passions of the flesh nor lustings of the mind bring my spirit into subjection, but do Thou rule over me in liberty and power.
I thank Thee that many of my prayers have been refused. I have asked amiss and do not have, I have prayed from lusts and been rejected, I have longed for Egypt and been given a wilderness. Go on with Thy patient work, answering ‘no’ to my wrongful prayers, and fitting me to accept it. Purge me from every false desire, every base aspiration, everything contrary to Thy rule. I thank Thee for Thy wisdom and Thy love, for all the acts of discipline to which I am subject, for sometimes putting me into the furnace to refine my gold and remove my dross.
No trial is so hard to bear as a sense of sin. If Thou shouldst give me choice to live in pleasure and keep my sins, or to have them burnt away with trial, give me sanctified affliction. Deliver me from every evil habit, every accretion of former sins, everything that dims the brightness of Thy grace in me, everything that prevents me taking delight in Thee. Then I shall bless Thee, God of jeshurun, for helping me to be upright.
My Ever-Infiltrating Humanity ~ A Prayer
You are just. Thank you for your intense forgiveness that is so undeserved. I am selfish and always wanting my way now when for certain your way is better by far, if only I would have faith and patience. Forgive me for my grievous lack of both. You are good and kind and just. I am glad you are just. I deserve to melt away continually in hell. Oh YES I do. As much as my flesh wars against me, telling my I am not that bad, and really, I of all people deserve eternal damnation to rot in hell never to be consumed by its never ending fire? Little me, who is so good to everyone and tries so hard to help others? Really? I deserve such pain and torment that I would be gnashing my teeth constantly? YES! I am offensive to God. Fully offensive to God. Even the smallest skunk is offensive to man, what makes me think that I should be loved. What makes a single worm think that a human should love it. Yet here I sit, covered by the blood of Perfection. God sees His blood and not my ever-infiltrating humanity. God sees His perfection and not my putrid sin. God sees me, cleansed and white as snow because of what Jesus did on the cross. He chose me and I have now turned from my selfish arrogant life and now trust in Him and have faith in Him and follow Him. I ask humbly for forgiveness of my thinking I do not deserve Hell. I am not good. Even my righteousness stinks to You. But I will be righteous because you call me to be righteous. I will be holy because you call me to be holy. I will do whatever you want whenever you want wherever you want because I am committed.
Fully and Woefully Out of Control ~ A Prayer
I try to control things when I know very well that You, LORD, control everything. As much as I want to feel like I am in control, I am not. I am fully and woefully out of control. You are not my co-pilot or my partner in life. You are in charge completely. The more I am able to live my life in light of that sure and unwavering fact, the smoother and straighter my paths will be. LORD, grant me success in being out of control.
Holy. Just. Love. 