DBR Thought of the Day ~ Love your Wife, Respect your Husband (Ephesians 5:33)

“let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” – Ephesians 5:33

Can it really be that simple? Husbands, love your wives. Wives, respect your husbands. Oddly it sort of is. Women have a basic need to be loved and men have a basic need to be respected. In Dr. Emerson Eggerichs’ book Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs he goes into great detail about how this works. I highly recommend buying a copy and trying out what he suggests. It may just save your marriage, or at least it will enhance your marriage greatly. Below is a snippet I pulled from Michael Hyatt’s review on the book. You can see what he had to say here.

Emerson uses two acronyms to explain to men and women how to provide what their partner needs. To the men, he uses the acronym of C-O-U-P-L-E to remind them what their wives need. This is how you spell love to your wife:

Closeness—She wants you to be close.
Openness—She wants you to open up to her.
Understanding—Don’t try to fix her; just listen.
Peacemaking—She wants you to say, “I’m sorry.”
Loyalty—She needs to know you’re committed.
Esteem—She wants you to honor and cherish her.

To the women, he uses the acronym of C-H-A-I-R-S to remind them what their husbands needs. This is how you spell respect to your husband:

Conquest—Appreciate his desire to work and achieve.
Hierarchy—Appreciate his desire to protect and provide.
Authority—Appreciate his desire to serve and to lead.
Insight—Appreciate his desire to analyze and counsel.
Relationship—Appreciate his desire for shoulder-to-shoulder friendship.
Sexuality—Appreciate his desire for sexual intimacy.

I have read the book and tried out a lot of what Eggerichs suggests. To put it simply, buy showing my husband respect and actually telling him that I respect him has made a huge difference in our relationship.