Today my Dad taught me a lesson. One that he has taught me over and over again my whole life but for some reason today was a little different. We set out to go to dinner tonight with my husband and my son. We were leaving a little late and I had a schedule to keep, plans that my Type-A insidiousness would not want hindered. My husband needed to go to the bank before we went to dinner, and being the good dad that he is he let Jacob, our son dictate the restaurant. BJs it was. But my husband turned right, when BJs and the bank was left. I quickly corrected him and said he needed to go left. He said politely back that he wanted to go to the regular bank. But, here I was, in my own mind rightly correct, and on my own self-serving agenda. So, in true “Jenny” fashion (only my husband calls me Jenny so don’t get any ideas, because remember, I am Type-A) I snapped back that the bank was FULLY in the opposite direction and that there was a perfectly good ATM machine right next to the restaurant. And really, we were just going to use the ATM machine at the actual bank too so what is the difference? He shook his head, kept his cool, and instantly took the next U-turn he could and therefor I got my way. I instantly regretted the whole thing and wanted to stuff back all my disrespectful words. But I couldn’t. I messed up. I know my husband and he usually has good reason for why he does what he does and he definitely is not a time-waster or someone who allows inefficiency. I should have known better. Also, if you back up to every other time I insisted on my way and he caved over the past 10 years I was consistently wrong and he was consistently right. I don’t even mean by a percentage. I mean 100% he was right every time even though I thought, at the time I was 100% right.
God teaches me over and over again to SUBMIT to my husband. Even on the small decisions. But again, I sat in the car making things worse by apologizing and begging him to turn around and go to the actual bank. He did not. He continued in the direction I asked him to go. So, here is God’s (my Dad’s) lesson. We get to the ATM and there it is. A big red OUT OF ORDER sign. OF COURSE!! Thank you Jesus! I am WRONG once again and my husband is RIGHT. I should have just kept my mouth shut and trusted in my husband’s ability to lead our family. The reason today was a little different was not in the lesson itself, but in the surrounding circumstances. I kept going even after I was clearly hit over the head yet again with a lesson. Telling him this and that and chirping in his ear becoming that drip, drip, drip that every woman claims they are not but secretly hopes they are not but wonders if they are. What is wrong with me! I do the things I hate and the things I want to do I do not do (paraphrased from Paul’s writings). I was tried back-to-back-to-back tonight with my lack of self control, my lack of being able to keep my mouth shut, and ultimately my lack of humility. I considered a muzzle but in reality I needed to repent. Not only to God for breaking several of his laws but to my husband. I reaped some pretty hefty consequences tonight which I fear came in the form of blessings withheld which makes me sorrowful to no end. Only by the grace of God and the Holy Spirit can I be made perfect in this. Yet I still long for the day when the pain and frustration we go through on this earth will be but a small fragment of a distant, barely remembered memory like mentioned in our DBR today in Isaiah 65:17 “For behold, I create new heavens and a new earth, and the former things shall not be remembered or come into mind.”
Thank you, Dad that I am a work in progress and one of your attributes is patience, especially with a control freak Type-A like me. I know there is a perfect soul somewhere inside this massively corrupt body and I can’t wait to meet her some day soon!
~ Jen (HolyJustLove.com)